I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
There's even glitter on my cock...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
