Your face is a jimmy john
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
