and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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