when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
