College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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