tell your sister to shave her snatch
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
