I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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