im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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