remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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