Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
