Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Text me some of your sweat
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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