For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
