If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
