the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
