Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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