we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
nutella sex= disaster
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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