There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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