Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
