I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
