I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
