i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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