The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize