Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
