Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
