just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize