What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
