It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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