Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
