Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
