Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
i've created a new STD.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
