I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
