i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize