a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
