are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my shit smells like andre
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
