It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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