ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
that's an acceptable place to lick
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
