Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
What a dumb baby whore.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
