i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize