His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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