we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
