My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
