Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
