I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
