he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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