I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
