Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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