I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
