ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
