Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
