I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
