I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
