we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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