I must be too annoying 4 u.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
