"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
