My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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