Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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